How are you supposed to live without an open heart?
This is a question I’ve seen loads when reading self-help and exploring things more spiritual, but I never really paid it much mind.
I mean, ‘open your heart’ – what does that actually mean?
In case you’re interested in astrology, I’m a Pisces sun and Virgo moon which means that I’m constantly torn between feelings and logic; going with the flow and making plans.
With this mindset, I’m always stuck on the little details and there’s always something getting in the way of fulling Being. No matter what is going on, no matter how many blessings I’ve been given I’m always thinking of the next thing that’s coming – the next steps I should be taking.
I know I’m not the only one who feels like way and for a while I bet we all just assumed it was normal. For those of us who enjoy self-development content, we’re always thinking about the next step and we’re always looking to improve.
For a while, I believed that this was the purpose of my life and that we always need to keep moving in order to live fully.
Now don’t get me wrong, I think we do need to spend time working on ourselves. But I know that I need to see this as the lifelong journey it is. As Rebecca Campbell says in her books, this is the work of a lifetime not a season.
HOW ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
I’ve always prided myself on being ‘strong and independent’.
Those who are already a little further than me on this journey will know that this actually translates as closed off and unfeeling.
As I explained in a previous post, I’ve been cutting off my own feelings for years because I thought that made me ‘strong’ and I thought that was the way to see progress.
Now I’m on a spiritual journey and learning so much about myself, the behaviours and the habits that have been building up over my 24-years, which has really opened my eyes. To bring it back to astrology, those who know will see that cutting off emotions just doesn’t work with being a Pisces.
We’re supposed to be intuitive and all about feelings – these are also highly feminine traits, which is a whole other side of the issues I didn’t know I had – so I’ve essentially been cutting off a vital part of myself.
So let me bring it back to the first question: How was I supposed to live with a closed heart?
WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?!
Cutting off feelings and thinking that they’re simply not for me doesn’t work. At the end of the day, as a human being, I’m always feeling but my cutting off that part of myself meant that I simply wasn’t listening.
Those who know will understand why things can get kind turbulent in my life from this.
I’ve basically been cutting off a vital organ, which means that instead of sitting in my feelings and understanding where they come from they instead come out as addictions (food, drinking and spending are some of the things I’ve dealt with and am still dealing with), impulsive behaviour (which comes with addiction and as a Virgo moon just simply isn’t part of my nature) and unreal connections.
That’s not to say that the people I currently have in my life are not important to me or that I’ve been lying to them, because that simply isn’t the case.
I have so much love and admiration for my girlfriends, my fiance and my family but without accepting my feelings and ‘opening my heart’, if we must use that term, I’m never fully present with them as I’m supposed to be.
Again, I’ve never deliberately or necessarily hidden parts of myself – if you know me on a deep level, you know me – but getting in touch with my feelings and ‘opening my heart’ is allowing me to be better with you. When we’re in touch with this vital part of ourselves, we can be more present with those we love – we will be more honest, more open and more ourselves, which is only going to deepen the connection.
HOW CAN WE MOVE ON?
It’s both fun and difficult to learn things about yourself. It’s a process of learning and unlearning, which explains why many of us are feeling so tired right now.
Everything that is going on in the world – the isolation, the protests, those losing their jobs and having to create new routines – is leading to what I hope is going to be a mass awakening.
We’ve been told so many things that simply aren’t true. It’s likely that the way you’ve been living and believing simply won’t work anymore.
As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like we’re heading to another level.
More openness, more connection and more heart in everything we do and are – which is only going to deepen the relationships we have with each other and bring compassion back into everything we do.
How are you feeling and do you see any changes?