As I’m writing this, it’s a Tuesday which in my book is the second day of the week.
For a change, I managed to have a productive and fulfilling Monday (yesterday) with a good balance of work, productivity and relaxation. It was basically the perfect day for me, where I had time to tackle all of my needs and wants.
Today however has almost been the opposite.
Instead of getting up early and cracking on, I’ve procrastinated in every way possible.
Now as the day as coming to an end, I’m feeling pretty pissed off with myself. The gremlins (as Brene Brown calls them) are telling me that I’m useless, I’m stupid and I’ll just never have my shit together.
Do you get like this too?
I’ve been spending a lot of time during this lockdown working on myself and learning as much as I can in terms of emotions, thought patterns and connection, so I know that I need to be kind to myself right now.
With this knowledge, I know that I’m in shame mode – with just a touch of guilt – for not making my work a priority today. In order to come out of it on the other side I need to just let it go and be kind to myself.
Tomorrow is another day, after all… Right?
I often find myself getting in this spiral on a weekly basis at the moment.
After being so proud of myself mere hours earlier for working hard and finally ‘finding the balance’, I’ve slipped up and fallen into bad habits once more and now I’m berating myself for it instead of just letting it go.
If a friend was in the same situation and said something like that to be, I’d say: “don’t worry, you’re only human. You now know how to make tomorrow better”
But I don’t think any of us are that kind to ourselves on impulse.
Isn’t it mad how one bad day, one bad hour or – let’s face it – one bad moment can ruin the rest of our week?
Even though I have so much time to work and tick off to-dos, I get so caught up in the hours I’ve missed which only results in more missed/wasted time.
Tomorrow is another day and I know how to make it better… But that doesn’t mean that I won’t be caught in this spiral ever again.
As I continue on this self-development and acceptance journey, I’m hoping to figure out how to break these behaviours once and for all. If I ever find a solution, you know I’ll be sharing it with you!