May 26: Jekyll + Hyde
Living with my brain sometimes feels like constantly being in a room with Jekyll and Hyde.
And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
It kinda pains me to say it – being the big bookworm that I am – but I actually haven’t read the book that this phenomenon is from. So I may be completely wrong with what I think the story’s about, but I’m sure I have a good enough idea.
As far as I know, Jekyll and Hyde are two sides of the same coin. They’re the two very different personalities of one man and this that I want to talk about today.
Before I go on, I just want to say that I am not talking about any kind of mental illness during this post. I’m going to talk about my feelings as a fairly average human who only has a limited experience and knowledge on mental health. I hope that’s okay.
Being in my brain can really feel as chaotic as Jekyll and Hyde sometimes. I’m one of those people who can blow hot or cold very quickly and sometimes even I don’t notice the change until it’s too late.
Of course, I’m a huge overthinker and worrier which means that I have a very great skill of making issues where there are none.
The fact that I spend so much time on my head, worrying and stressing, can cause external issues or mood changes. This not only effects me but the people around me.
I do feel bad for those around me – most of the time I act like an overgrown toddler and trust me it’s exhausting.
Figuring out your emotions and how to control them is a very refined skill, I think, and it’s super hard to develop.
We’re taught what emotions are as children but rarely are we taught how to handle them healthily.
As a 23-year-old, I’m only just realising how important this kind of education is and how much of an impact it would have made on my life.
I now need to try teach myself how to handle emotions in a way that is safe for myself and my loved ones.
This is very difficult for an impatient, aggressive and fairly spoilt young woman let me tell you!
There is nothing wrong with being emotional, but sometimes there can be unnecessary issues caused. I need to learn how to lean into my feelings without causing trouble.