How are you getting on with your New Year’s resolutions? Remember them? It’s been a while, but your goals are still there.

This year, I made sure I couldn’t forget what I wanted. On a dark January evening, while swigging cheap rosé, I made a digital vision board, which means every time I log onto this laptop or check my phone, I’m reminded of all the hope I had. And still have, even if I’m not exactly making much progress.

That’s what I wanted to write about tonight, in a fashion. Hope, and its opponent, desperation.

Because, in my experience, there’s a very fine line between these two states of being. And only one of them is productive.

Hope is obviously a brilliant thing to have, especially in These Trying Times. It’s something we all need to hold onto as much as we can. But clinging too hard will lead to desperation, which is the biggest turn-off for anything, ever

(unless you’re on a popular audio platform or reading one of those books, you know what I’m saying)

Clinging is never the way to get what you want. Whether that’s a [healthy] relationship, a job offer, more money, whatever, desperation will scare everything away.

Desperation is potent, and everyone can smell it on it – and it’s not attractive. I mean attractive here in the literal sense, as in to attract things. Desperation makes you repel things, rather than attract.

Now don’t worry, I’m not going to get all ‘woo-woo’ on you here. But this is a reminder to myself to stop being so desperate and impatient.

I’ve spoken about manifestation before and how you can get what you want, but it’s not necessarily a magic spell or something you need to pay for.

It’s more a state of being and, honestly, luck.

The main thing I’ve learned about this manifestation gig is that it’s all about your mindset. It’s the way you think and how you approach the world, which can (if the circumstances are right) open you up to opportunities.

It’s also just easier to get on with your goals when you feel good about them.

When I look at my 2026 moodboard, it’s quite easy for me to feel desperate about the things I want. The concerts, the money, the writing. For an easy example, let’s talk about body image.

I’m currently on a weight loss journey. Or back on one, should I say, after seeing some success last year and plateauing.

There are various reasons why I want to work on this goal, and it’s more than just counting calories or working out for me, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is how much I want it.

I want to lose weight, and I want to feel better in my body – you could say I’m desperate for it.

No matter how much I cling and obsess over the end goal or catch myself feeling impatient that even with every pound lost, I’m still far from it, it’s not going to make it come any easier.

If anything, I’m chasing it away because in this state, I’m likely to mess up.

In desperation, I’m more likely to burn out. I’m more likely to fall back into the old habits that I’m actively trying to fight, and find myself back at square one.

This is no way to make progress.

I need something to keep me calm and consistent. Something that keeps me trying every day, that encourages me to keep going and to make an effort, because it’ll all work out in the long run. This is hope.

For those into manifestation, you can call this affirming or visualising. Essentially, it’s a positive state that keeps you focused on what you want.

By keeping this focus, it’s easier to make the decisions that will eventually lead you to success.

You know what you want, and you’ll get there, as long as you remain hopeful and not desperate.

Desperation only works in smut – it’s pure fantasy. It’s not going to help you get where you need to be. The more you cling to the things you want, the further you’re going to push them away, and where will you be?

Instead of getting desperate, be patient with yourself. All progress is good progress when it’s moving you in the right direction. Some things just take time, and honestly, they’re all the better for it. Think of it like taking your bra off after a long day or a hot bath after a tough hike. Or, if you want to get spicy, an orgasm after lots of foreplay.

It’s always worth the wait and often feels much better because of the buildup.

So dust off those New Year’s resolutions, have a think about what you want to achieve and remain hopeful. Because that’s the only way we’re going to get through this and get what we want.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash