Growing Pains (Aka, Why I’ve Been Gone)

This post seems a little too familiar to another one I recently published on this blog, and that’s because I’m kind of going through the exact same thing – as I’m sure many of you are.

As I’m writing this to you now, friends, the UK has gone into a second nationwide lockdown.

While this one seems like it should be easier to cope with because it has an end date in sight (2nd December, as far as I’m aware) and we’ve already been through all this, it’s not.

I know I’m not the only one who is just weary of this year and of everything that is going on, and I say that from an incredibly privileged position of someone who lives with family, still has a job, and is currently healthy. I don’t write this to whinge at you necessarily, but rather to let you know that we’re all going through it and no matter how I may seem through these posts, we all have our down days, weeks or months.

Like I mentioned in another post of a similar title, I’m struggling to make changes in my life right now.

With all the changes going on in the world that I cannot control, for some reason I feel like I need to control everything within my personal sphere. I spoke in the other post about how I want to change my diet, my spending habits, and other things that don’t make me feel good which is HARD work. I make this harder for myself because when I don’t see results I become irritated, upset, and fall into a state of low mood.

I’m still going through all that right now and I know I need to sort myself out, which I why I’m writing to you today so you know what’s going on.

This hiatus from my blog (after doing so well for a week or so with a schedule!) started by accident but has become deliberate over the last couple of weeks because I just need to give myself space.

You know by now that I fall into these habits of piling too much onto myself and then wondering why I can’t cope with everyday tasks, and I’m guessing if you’ve ever related to this blog in some way then you’re no stranger to these behaviours either.

I just wanted to write this message to you today to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you and I appreciate you reading my work.

My brain is full of plans and ideas for this space when it’s time to go to sleep and I’m going to try be better by taking action on them during the day, instead of just laying around the house in my pyjamas, avoiding any form of work, and feeling sorry for myself.

I hope you are doing okay friends. Please let me know, what is something you do for yourself when you’re feeling unmotivated?

Also let me know what you’re wanting to work on right now.

Speak soon,

Rachael

Photo by Nikola Jovanovic on Unsplash

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