Why Is Porn Like This? | Let’s Talk About It

Before we even get into this post, I need to say that I’m not anti-porn.

Shocking I know; a feminist who isn’t against porn! Well, settle yourself in fellows because I might be able to surprise you further.

Believe it or not, but most feminists (and those who don’t like to call themselves that) aren’t actually against porn as a whole. There are just some things about it that we think need tweaked or adjusted.

I, for one, accept that porn isn’t going anywhere and I understand that it does have some kind of purpose in modern life.

It’s not really my favourite way to spend free time, but I’m not totally against it.

As Caitlin Moran says, porn is basically just some sex. Since I have no issues with sex, I shouldn’t really have a problem with porn either.

But for any of us that have actually clicked on one of these forbidden videos, you’ll know that porn isn’t just sex – it’s a lot deeper (pun not intended) than that.

And I’ve got some issues with it.

SOME QUESTIONS FOR PORN

Again, just to clarify – I’m not against pornography as an industry or as a thing to be enjoyed.

I do however, as anyone else with a critical mind, have some issues with the way it portrays sex, relationships and (of course) women.

So here are some questions I’ve come up with in my *cough cough* free time regarding porn:

  • Why do all women in porn look like they’re in pain?

As far as I’m concerned, sex is a good time. It’s something that should bring pleasure and joy and love to those who are involved.

Yet looking at the women in porn (because it’s basically only the women that this applies to) you might be mistaken into thinking that sex actually isn’t that good. In fact, I don’t think anyone would blame you if you thought that sex might actually be painful, uncomfortable or just down-right boring by simply looking at the facial expressions on the actresses’ faces.

Although sex can sometimes be these negative things, porn is entertainment. It’s supposed to be showing us the best of the best – a fantasy type of sex that we will want to aspire to.

Yet all of the porn I’ve encountered shows women with some pretty upsetting facial expressions and movements as though she isn’t really have a good time.

She may be making happy noises, but her face hasn’t caught up.

There is no laughter, no giggling and no smiles in porn – which seems to contract everything that sex should be about.

  • Why is there no hair? 

Or no belly rolls, uneven boobs, or stretch marks? I understand that porn is made to be aesthetically pleasing, but surely some pubic or back hair isn’t going to turn anyone off if they’re already in your bed or, in this case, already clicked on the video ready to go?

One of the biggest issues I find with porn is the fact it’s unrelatable. The people in these videos just don’t look like real people. And maybe that’s the point; they’re like models in a magazine or those photoshopped people we see on Instagram.

But I think it’s boring that everyone looks the same – sometimes even down to the way they have their nails and hair done!

I understand that there are lots of categories of porn and you can find any kind of person you want getting frisky but mainstream porn – the kind that can be found in literally one click – doesn’t have the same kind of variety.

I find most of my time watching porn wondering how the lady got her legs so smooth or how her stomach is so taut even in that position, which isn’t really where I want my mind to be in that situation.

  • Why does it not look fun?

This is my main question when it comes to mainstream porn, because quite frankly it doesn’t really look like anyone is having a good time in it.

Again, I understand that porn is not meant to be real life and that it is a fantasy. But wouldn’t it be nice if next time you wanted to have a wank you found some content that actually looked like it would be fun to be involved in?

THE ROLE OF PORN

Porn dictates our fantasies. For most children growing up nowadays, porn is more than just a fantasy for masturbation – it’s now also their sex education.

This is why I get so annoyed that it’s such a ‘one size fits all’ industry.

Mainstream porn has the story line, the same body shapes, and the same tone. Not only is this boring, but it’s also dangerous.

Porn is no longer something that’s reserved for a select few as anyone can have access to it whenever they want. As the audience has diversified, I think the content needs to as well.

Porn is a massive industry that makes a lot of money, so I know that it will never go away – nor do I want it to. As I said in the beginning, I think porn does have a purpose and I don’t think that purpose is inherently wrong.

We all need a way to let of steam and for some people porn is the best thing for it.

I just wanted to express my two cents about the subject because I honestly think we’d all be better off if there was just some better porn out there. If there was porn that showed normal looking people just having a good time with each other, because that’s what sex is all about.

Sex is for everyone who wants to have it, so why doesn’t the porn we watch so that?

Porn that shows the same bodies, the same positions, and uses the same noises over and over again is boring and dangerous. It can result in weird expectations in sex, which will only lead to boring and unfulfilling sex lives to those who watch it.

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY

Sex should be fun and it should be enjoyed by everyone involved.

Sure, it can be messy, awkward, funny, noisy, wet, loud, weird, hairy, sweaty. But that doesn’t mean that those involved aren’t having a good time.

Sex should always been enjoyable and pleasurable for everyone involved, because otherwise what is the point of it all?

Porn  is just one flavour of sex and it doesn’t always have to look that way.

Sex is almost never like that in real life and thinking anything but can lead to confusion or worse disappointment, pain and upset.

No matter what you’re into and who you like to do it with, make sure that have you consent and are having a good time together.


What do you think about porn?

I’ve been thinking about writing a more detailed post about porn for a long time (you can see my nervous first post about the subject here) and for some reason have always pushed the idea away.

Today, however, I wanted to open the conversation back up and as the question I think we’re all asking:

Why is porn like this?

Anyway, I hope this gave you something to think about. Happy lovemaking, readers!

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Photo by Maru Lombardo on Unsplash

 

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