May 19: Myself
I am constantly trying to work on myself.
If you have been to this blog before, then you know that I’m all about self development and self improvement. I’m kind of obsessed with working on myself and trying to become a better person and this is something I’ve been actively working on for a good few years now.
However, despite how long I feel like I’ve been doing this, I have to admit that the whole ‘working on myself’ process often feels like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back every time.
It often feels like I’m working so hard on myself and yet I’m not making any progress. Like the rest of us, I have bad habits and comfort routines that I constantly find myself falling back into even though I’m trying to get rid of them.
I think, again like everyone else, I am too hard on myself most of the time. I’m the last to recognise my achievements and my strengths. This is something that I feel like most people – especially most women, just saying – struggle with.
The fact that I find it so hard to see my achievements and my strengths could be why I am so obsessed with self development and self improvement. You should see my YouTube subscriptions and book wish list! They’re full of self help.
When I actually sit down and think about it though, I know I have done a lot. I know that I have come a long way and have achieved so much – especially during these past few years.
I can confidently say that I am not the same person I was three, four, even two years ago.
I think another issue with my self development process is the fact that just as hard as I am on myself, I am also pretty soft with myself.
This is something I have very recently discovered and I know it is hindering me a lot.
Even though I care a lot about becoming better, I’m not really disciplined about it. I have comfortably fallen into the trap of ‘treating myself’ – so much so that the statement doesn’t even mean much to me anymore. I’ve forgotten what is important.
Some of the best advice I have ever heard about self care and self development is to treat yourself like a child. Not only does this make us feel more kinder and offer more patience to ourselves, but I think it also swings the other way.
Children need to be disciplined so they learn and make the right decisions. This is something I need to put more into my self care routine and I think its the only way to make a real difference.
I’m going to continue to work on myself – but this time, I’m going to take it seriously.