May 14: Curtains
The first thing that came to my mind when I read today’s word was:
‘you never know what’s going on behind closed doors’
but I suppose I should change that to behind closed curtains, for today.
No matter what people are hiding behind, whether it is a door, a snazzy set of curtains, or a social media account, you never really know what is going on with them.
It is so common nowadays for people to experience FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and feel like they are not worth anything because they don’t match up to their peers.
This is common because of social media and how much time we spend in other people’s business, but it certainly isn’t a new thing. Decades ago people were still comparing themselves to their peers – it was just done on a more face-to-face basis.
I have often talked about my obsession (cause we can call it that at this point) I have with comparing myself to other people. Although it does get worse when I spend a lot of time on Instagram or YouTube, it’s been happening to me for as long as I can remember.
The daft thing is, I have been shown time and time again that I don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors – sorry, closed curtains.
There have been so many times when I am obsessively idolising a friend, a peer or someone online – constantly thinking that their life is perfect and if I could only be like them then everything would be great for me – for something to go wrong and I’d get a glimpse of what really goes on backstage.
The universe, or whatever it is controlling this stuff, has shown me so many times that I never know the full story; that you really can’t judge a book by its cover: I just don’t want to listen.
We like to give off the impression that we have everything sorted out. I think it’s just a part of human nature.
I know I love to act like my life is perfect and that I am in control of this stuff, because sometimes I am. But its rare that I’m just as willing to share the bad bits of my life.
It’s totally normal for us to want to hide these kind of things from the general public – which is the best way I can think of describing it. Perhaps it’s to do with pride, perhaps it’s a very selfish thing; but it is totally natural for us to want to keep some parts of our life to ourselves.
And in most cases, these are the bad bits.
I don’t want to suggest that we all become more vulnerable and start opening up about everything, because that’s probably not your cup of tea. It’s not really mine to be honest but I’m learning.
I just wanted to write this to remind myself and anyone else reading this that we don’t know the full story. We don’t know what is going on in anyone’s life once those curtains have been closed and they retreat away from the world.
Don’t waste your time thinking that you’re missing out on something or that you don’t compare to your peers, to that girl on Instagram or to the family across the road.
You don’t compare, because you can’t!
We’ve all got good bits and bad bits. I know it can be so hard to accept and believe, but comparison really is the thief of joy – and it’s a bloody big waste of time too!