All my life I have been a ‘good girl’. I never got into major trouble at school, my parents were never called in to discuss my behaviour and I never got a detention. Although I was a bit more loud and livelier at home I was still never a naughty kid. Like everyone I got into trouble sometimes and was constantly being told off for being too cheeky but for the most part I was a goody two shoes.
I’m a worrier. I stress and worry about everything and I hate it when things don’t go to plan. I’ve always been this way and I don’t think it will ever change; it’s who I am. This is why, throughout my personal and school life, I never did anything wrong. I didn’t step out of line, I didn’t drink or stay out too late. In fact I barely went out at all. Since going to university and starting a job I have a met a ton of new people, each with their own stories and anecdotes to tell. And most of the time the tales turn to the past and when we were all younger and I find myself struggling in these conversations as I have nothing to say.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Although I had a very good childhood and I’m normally a reasonably happy person, thinking about the way I was and the way I am can often make me feel down. Especially in comparison to other people’s wild stories. I’m aware that maybe at the time of their wildness they mightn’t have felt too good and maybe there were a lot of complications elsewhere due to their behaviour, but I often wish that I had been a bit bolder, a bit louder and a bit more daring like them throughout my life. Especially in school!
I might have enjoyed my time there and in other situations a lot more if I wasn’t so concerned with what other people thought of me and I didn’t worry so much.
Although I am not encouraging anyone reading this to drink underage or do anything dangerous or damaging (to yourself or others) but I am saying that it’s okay to do things out of line sometimes. When you’re young you’re allowed to make mistakes and do things wrong- in fact that’s kind of the point of being young! That’s how you learn things about yourself and the world. But if you don’t try anything new and are always so conscious of the way you act and are then you’re never going to learn and develop.
I wish I had done so many things differently but I’m trying my hardest not to regret any of my past actions. Okay, I was very quiet and nerdy at school but that enabled me to get the grades I needed to get out of there!
I will never be the type of person who is completely wild and doesn’t follow the rules. That makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. But I’m trying to accept that fact and see that no matter what I do I can still have a good time. As long as I stop caring about other people’s opinions and do things for me that sound fun but may not exactly be the ‘good’ thing to do.
I’m aware this post may seem a bit random considering everything else I’ve written so far but as always I hope my little discussion helped you in anyway. If you have any stories from when you were younger, any advice or just anything you want to say please don’t hesitate to let me know!
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