Over the years of this blog, I have gone from posting weekly to yearly! If that is a sign that I simply have nothing left to say, then I’ll let you be the judge of that, but as is tradition for this time of year on Rachaelic I’m back for a post.

I just read through my 27 Lessons In 27 Years post that was published, shockingly enough, just after my birthday last year and so much has changed since then. 2023 was a strange year, full of ongoing changes, unexpected circumstances, incredible growth, and major lows. Now this could be said about every year of my past, but on paper, a lot happened in 2023 that I am still dealing with so it makes sense for fun writing to take a backseat.

A lot of the things I dreamed of and felt desperate for came to fruition in 2023. While that is incredible, it’s also been super hard.

To make things easier and allow me to move on to what I want to say, the gist of things is:

• I moved out of my parents’ house to my first home with my partner
• We got a puppy and began developing our family

These are incredible changes and two major highlights that occured over the past 12 months. But things haven’t been perfect over this time.

Many lessons have been learned since the last time I wrote, as is to be expected with any major life change, and that has been both brilliant and humbling.

Following these major events, and the turmoil that has continued along side them throughout last year, my partner and I have dubbed 2023 as a ‘trial year’. It was the first time we had lived together since we were students, but now we had the added pressure of real bills and responsibilities. The house came unexpectedly and has since revealed a lot of issues, which means we are happy to move on at the end of our lease – which is coming up soon.

It has been an ongoing experience of trial and error, learning how to live independentyl for the first time and figure out what we want from life.

With that being said, my life looks completely different from the way it did a year ago when I last sat down to write for this little website of mine! That is incredible, and I’m so grateful for all the things that 2023 brought, but it also hasn’t been easy.

All of this is essentially a way for me to excuse yet another year long break and make an opportunity for me to continue as I used to.

Things are still changing and we’re learning new things every single day with our current life (being in your late twenties is a ride, my friends) This is what has inspired me to write once more, for a change. The past year I’ve found it paralyzing and confusing, the idea of blogging the way I used to so laughable with my current circusmtances that I just didn’t bother.

However, this blog has become a little journal or scrapbook of my life over the past decade. Even though I try to write for the benefit of other people, the main audience for this site is clearly myself.

It has become a catch-all for my personality, my growth, and my interests which is beautiful and I want to pop back in with who I am now.

Who Am I Now?

I’ve spoken before about all the changes you will go through over time, and how sometimes you don’t even recognise the person you were last year, last month or even last week. A lot of that is starting to settle down as I approach 28, I’m realising.

While things are always subject to change and there are so many new things for me to learn, I can also see some of the ways I’m coming to a nice equilibrium. It’s almost as if my life and my personality have been a pinball machine, and as the pinball I have bounced from one extreme to another at fast speeds in my teens and early twenties.

Now I’m getting towards a new decade, and towards the bottom of the machine, the bouncing is less frequent, less extreme. There’s still movement, but much like the point that the pinball machine comes to, in the end, it is easier to control.

It’s a strange experience to see yourself doing all these things you dreamed of, and yet still having struggles.

The contrast between being incredibly grateful for your position in life now, and dealing with the same kind of issues you always have is an ongoing battle for me. It can take you out of the moment, get you stuck in a cycle and that is why I have neglected my old hobby.

There isn’t really a point to this post, I just wanted to get back into the habit of writing and reminding myself that this website is for me to do what I want with. It’s not a serious project, it’s not another outlet for my perfectionism – it’s just something fun for me.

Some of the things I’ve mentioned today are topics I want to dive deeper into with later posts, but for now a reintroduction is enough.

Life has a way of surprising you and delivering what you want when you least expect it. But no matter how much changes and what you gain, you’re still the same person underneath it all. That can be a big hurdle, if you’re not happy with yourself. As I’m getting older, I’m leaning into who I am and learning to like, accept, appriciate things I never could. All of this goes towards a greater appriciation for life and the things it offers.

I’m not completely there yet, and don’t expect it to be a smooth journey, but that is what I’m hoping to document right now.

I hope to come back soon with more. If you’re still here or happened to find this post by accident (do people even read blogs anymore?) then I hope you’re well.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Photo by Constant Loubier on Unsplash