This post is entirely inspired by this video by Mrs Midwest, so I gotta give credit where it’s due.
The title might sound a little aggressive and like something a traditional father who is still concerned with toxic masculinity would say, but I don’t mean it that way.
In the video I’ve just mentioned, Mrs Midwest talks about not letting your feelings hold you back.
As an emotional person, which is something I’ve only recently allowed myself to accept, I felt this message hard. While there is nothing wrong with having feelings, obviously, the way that they influence your actions can be a problem.
For example, the way you feel about doing household chores, say, shouldn’t actually get in the way of you doing them.
This is a major problem for me, and could potentially be for you too.
While you might not feel like doing the dishes, for example, they still need to be done. Likewise your work, commitments and other daily routines that require action. Sitting in your feelings of not wanting to do them is just a form of procrastination.
FEELINGS AND COMMITMENTS
The title of this post is essentially me calling myself out, because I let my feelings get in the way of work and other commitments all the time.
As a freelancer, I’m blessed to be able to choose my working hours. While I still have deadlines to complete, I can choose when I work within that time frame.
This is a beautiful freedom and something I’m so grateful for, considering I spent years craving this exact thing when I was working retail and in fast food. However, even beautiful things have their flaws and the biggest flaw with working this way is the fact there is no one to hold you accountable but yourself.
This is something I love and appreciate, because it is the main source of freedom after all, but I do find myself being too soft with myself based on my feelings.
Here’s an example:
Ugh, I don’t feel like writing this article right now. I’ll do just it later.
Which then leads to several hours of binging YouTube, eating junk food and potentially napping. None of these actions are bad in themselves when I have the time for them.
However, when I have deadlines looming and stuff that actually needs to be done, I can’t surrender to my feelings.
COMFORT ZONES AND SOOTHING HABITS
You know when people say that success is on the other side of your comfort zone? I think they’re actually talking this subject.
If I listen to my emotions all the time, then I would literally never get out of bed. Naturally, I’m someone who likes to be cosy and comfortable, avoiding any kind of disturbance possible.
I’m sure this is the ideal state for everyone reading, but of course it is no way to live – or get anything done.
While you cannot shut off your emotions and ignore them completely (trust me, I’ve tried!), you also don’t have to pay attention to them all the time.
Sure, you’re feelings can be a great indicator of what’s going on within you, and whether there is something wrong that needs to be addressed. But when it comes to doing work, chores or other daily needs there really is no place for emotions.
There is nothing emotional about doing your work! It just needs to be done, and that’s that.
You might want to try taking some time during the process to actually appreciate what you’re doing, but don’t bring your emotions into it because they don’t belong. Try to practice being mindful and present when you’re working, doing chores, walking the dog or whatever it is that you need to get done.
Not only will this prevent you from falling back into that emotional state that cries because it just wants to stay in bed and do nothing, but you might end up finding joy in what you’re doing at the same time.
Next time you feel like you don’t want to do your work or chores, accept that this is happening and carry on regardless.
It’s the only way to get things done!