I’m going to hold my hands up now and say that I’m a judger. I judge people instantly and, as horrible as this is, all the time. And I know I’m not the only one.
But the things is, we’re taught to judge people. We’re told that ‘first impressions count’ and whatever is decided in these, often incredibly awkward, first few moments stick with us throughout that relationship.
Although I can’t argue with that, I can say that more often than not I’m wrong with these judgements- whether that’s for better or for worse. The trouble is anything can colour my opinion and I hope I’m not alone on that. The way a person looks, their body language and other people’s opinions are often the main factors in creating a preconceived opinion.
Which is so stupid when you think about. How can we develop a full opinion on someone based on initial factors, most of which are physical things might I add? How can we know whether we will get on with someone before we’ve even spoken to them? We can’t.
I know this won’t stop me from prejudging people, I swear it’s just human nature, but I kind of like the fact that I’m often wrong. It’s like a constant reminder to not judge and to not just assume things about others. I need to wait until I actually have a least a conversation with them first to find out whether I was right or not.
The thing about judging a person on the first, or second, meeting is that we don’t know anything about them at that point. We don’t know what kind of day they’re having or what happened to them before our meeting. I know for certain that if I’m to meet someone when I’m having a bad day- say I didn’t sleep well the night before and I have a lot of things on my mind (kind of like today, actually!)- there is a very slim chance of that person every coming back to me again!
As I’ve said before, people change all the time. Now that’s not to say that if you don’t get on with someone or feel uncomfortable around them that you should wait it out and let it pass. Almost conversely to everything I’ve just said, our gut instincts are normally right so follow that if you’re unsure. What I’m talking about here is the nasty habit we have of judging; creating opinions about a person before we’ve even given them a chance. It’s a bit unfair and something I, personally, am going to try to work on.
Do you have an issue with this too? Please feel free to share.