I didn’t sleep the night before. Not due to excitement, but because of a constant chattering in my mind -fears, anxieties, a desperate desire to hide away. A concern that I wouldn’t have enough time.

Then come parcels, envelopes, and wrapping paper. A selection of carefully considered gifts, specially curated collections of things from people I love and who love me back. Messages of joy, congratulations.

Sponge cake with jam, icing sweet enough to hurt your teeth. Big hugs in the kitchen, bottles of wine in the fridge. Mugs of prosecco, opening gifts and clues.

How carefully you’ve thought about this! How much care people have put into what they’ll send.

Giggling on the floor, head leaning against your chair. Balloons reaching the ceiling and cards crowd the mantelpiece.

So much love in such a small room.

The afternoon has been filled with music, laughter, and silly conversations. No fear, no stress, and no concern. Just happy moments with people I love.

And now am I ageing or going back in time? This evening feels like one from my past, but I thought it would be different. I thought I’d be desperately running out of time.

Instead, the night ends with a full heart and a tipsy mind and a feeling that I’m in the right place at the right time.

If this is just the beginning, I cannot wait to see what’s next.

Speak soon,

Rachael.