Now, don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a lot wrong with stan culture and celebrity culture overall but I can never hate fangirls.

I am one.

Fangirl
(noun)
a female fan, especially one who is obsessive
(verb)
(of a female fan) behave in an obsessive or overexcited way.

Being a fan is fun, there’s no denying it. Whether you see yourself as a fangirl or someone above all that business, there’s something out there that gets you excited.

Whether it’s a TV show, movie franchise, artist, football team – we’re all fans of something. The way you express your interest in this thing is what may differentiate you from the fangirls, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re better.

Dimming The Fangirl Light: Age And Gender

One of the biggest pitfalls to being a fangirl, whether it’s for a band or author or artist, is other people.

Of course, the fact that the term fangirl is deliberately feminine plays a major role in this. Because whatever women like en masse is up for scrutiny.

No matter how legitimate it would be if men were the primary target, or how ‘serious’ it may be in the grand scheme of things, if women like it then there must be something wrong with it.

We’ve seen this happen for decades, from the original Beatles Mania to the current day Swiftie hatred.

(Now, I have my own issues with Swifties – despite being a huge Taylor Swift fan myself – but that’s a whole other story. That’s the stan culture side of things I don’t like. )

Fangirling in its purest sense is just liking something and being excited about it -what’s wrong with that?

Well, if you’re a woman or a femme presenting person, then you’ll be told to grow up, ridiculed for being silly, and made fun of for expressing your interests.

Football fans are just as passionate and obsessive, but they never face the same ridicule – because they’re primarily men. Yes, it’s that simple.

Another negative side of being a fangirl is being told you’re too old for this kind of behaviour.

The term ‘fangirl’ may seem a weird one for me to hold, considering I’m almost 30 years old, but it truly is the best way to describe how I feel when I see an artist I love live in concert, or watch the curtains go up on a theatre performance, or finish a bloody brilliant book.

The sheer thrill and unabashed excitement that comes with certain art forms is fangirling in it’s purest sense. And I know you’ve felt it too.

In many circiles, being a fangirl is seen as a juvenile experience. And while I understand this – because no one is as obsessive as a hormonal teenager – why do we have to throw away the things we like just to ‘grow up’?

Surely living an adult life and experiencing the various trials and tribulations that come with growing up are reasons to be more excited about the things we like?

What The Fangirls Get Right

I’ve wrote about the importance of fantasy before on this blog, and my opinions still stand. Fantasy is a great way to keep you inspired, light and happy as you travel through your days.

Fangirling and being a fan in general is all about fantasy and escapism. It’s a way of escaping on bad days and enhancing the good ones.

Playing your favourite songs, watching your favourite movie or TV show, and rereading your favourite books – these are all valid ways to feel happy when you need it most.

If you want to forget the bad day you’ve just had, you can get lost in familiar worlds or listen to someone so beautifully and succulently describe the exact thing you’re feeling in a poem, song, or book.

Celebrations are made better when you have music and art to demonstrate how you’re feeling.

How many times have you been gripped by nostalgia by hearing an old song or watching an old movie scene? My love, that’s what fangirling is all about.

Another thing fangirls have is community.

Simply by liking a certain thing, you can connect with so many other people and already have a good foundation for a decent conversation or experience.

Of course, true connections need more than just a shared love for romantasy novels, singers with accents (my favourite), or that attractive actor you all like, but it’s a great way to get started.

And as we continue to feel more separated from each other; with laws coming into place to push us further apart, and living through a constant atmosphere of anxiety, community has never been more important.

Fangirls, whatever you feel about them, have this. They’re one step ahead of the rest of us.

Think about the last concert or show you went to. Wasn’t it amazing to feel apart of something? Fangirls have access to this whenever they’re honest about what they love and share this with other people.

Now that’s something to be envious of, especially in our current world.

As well as community, fangirls also have joy at their disposal.

No matter what may be going on in their ‘real lives’, fangirls have a constant source of excitement, joy, and motivation in the form of their favourite thing. Looking forward to the next concert, album release or movie premiere is a great way to get through your days.

Sure, there is value in the non-exciting parts of life too, but having something to look forward to is always going to make your days easier to bear.

Fangirls always have something to look forward to, simply because they’re open and excited. They have a focus and if this gets them through their day, who are we to judge?

The Challenge: Balancing It All

As I have mentioned, fangirling can become toxic and this is where the whole stan culture comes in. Taken from the Eminem song ‘Stan’, this part of being a fan refers to the extremists – the people who usually spoil it for everyone else.

I personally think there is nothing wrong with being a fan. Of course, I can have opinions on whether the thing you worship is deserving of fans and whether I agree with you, but simply liking something is not an issue.

It’s what you do with it that causes problems.

If you’re minding your business, just enjoying your art and music and books, then crack on. I’m sure you’re happier than a lot of other people out there and I’m glad you have an outlet; I think more people need one.

However, when your fan behaviour begins to interfere with other people’s lives, it might be time to reconsider. If you find yourself taking your opinions off the screens and from within conversations directly to the subject; if you’re arguing with people over what they like and how they show it, then I think we need to move on.

The whole purpose of defending fangirls is because people should be allowed to like what they want.

No one else has to agree or even understand – if that thing makes you happy, I wish you well. Just don’t do harm to yourself or others in pursuit of that thing, okay?

Art is supposed to an outlet, whether we’re making it ourselves or consuming other people’s work. It can be a great way to boost moods, process feelings, and experience highs throughout our days.

But as with all things, moderation may be needed. If you think you’re taking it too far, just log off, go outside, meet friends. Talk about something else, give yourself a break.

Fangirling is supposed to be fun, let’s keep it that way.

What are you a fan of? What are you fangirling over right now? I’d love to know what’s making your days better.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Photo by Taylor Keeran on Unsplash